Design your own personality

You’ve been told a million times that if you want to succeed in love, life, and work, you need a great personality. But what if you don’t like yours? If you feel like your personality is holding you back from the life you want, you can change it.

What defines your personality?

A personality is the pattern of thoughts, feelings, and behaviours that make you unique. Unfortunately, for many guys, how they want to act or feel doesn’t match up with what they actually do.

You wish you were more outgoing, could stay calm in stressful situations, and stand up for yourself at work. So why don’t you?

There are lots of reasons why you develop a personality you don’t like–from being bullied, to growing up in an abusive household or suffering from depression or anxiety. However, your personality isn’t set in stone. With a little work, you can become the person you want to be.

1. Write your story

To become the person you want to be, you need to be honest about who you are today.

As psychologist Carl Rogers wrote, “The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.”

Write down the qualities you see the most in yourself. Are you outgoing or quiet? Do you crave adventure or stability? What do you value the most in life?

2. Find your personality ‘archetype’

The qualities you listed make you unique. But they’re grounded in what psychologist Carl Jung calls archetypes.


Source:https://conorneill.com/2018/04/21/understanding-personality-the-12-jungian-archetypes/

According to Jung’s archetype theory, rather than being born with a blank slate, there are universal behavioural models that influence our personality. These archetypes give you a framework for understanding your personality and can help you identify the patterns you want to change.

Here are a few of the most common ones:

  1. The Jester lives for the moment. They want to enjoy life and avoid serious situations.
  2. The Lover is drawn to deep relationships. They’re committed to pleasing others even if it means losing themselves along the way.
  3. The Caregiver looks after others. They’re compassionate and generous but can become martyrs.
  4. The Hero is the master of their craft. They’re courageous but can’t help always looking for a new battle to fight.
  5. The Explorer wants to experience everything life has to offer. They’re rugged and ambitious to the point of not being able to sit still.

These are just a few of Jung’s archetypes, but you can probably already see hints of yourself in one (or more) of them.

Your personality isn’t set in stone

The word personality comes from the Latin persona–the mask actors wear to take on different roles. Just like an actor can change their costume between plays, you can change the way you act and feel.

If you’re ready to build the personality you’ve always wanted, give us a call.

Give us a call
3. Decide what kind of person you want to become

Archetypes represent two sides of a coin. What drives you can just as easily hold you back from building the personality you want.

My personality falls mainly under the Artist archetype. This means I’m driven to create and put things out in the world, but that I can also be a perfectionist and stress over even the smallest projects.

Think about your archetype’s defining characteristics. What behaviours do you see in yourself that you want to change?

4. Get help making the change

Changing your personality takes time. But a therapist can help you identify the thoughts and beliefs that are holding you back.

At Manifest, we’ve created a counselling program specifically for men. We help you understand the experiences and emotions that influence your personality and then help you develop one that’s more aligned with who you want to be.

Further reading:
https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-personality-2795416
https://www.verywellmind.com/what-are-jungs-4-major-archetypes-2795439
https://conorneill.com/2018/04/21/understanding-personality-the-12-jungian-archetypes/
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jungian_archetypes

Filtered Under:

Change12Feelings25Friends10Relationships23
Nightmares

Fear: The stuff of dreams

Was it a bad dream, or are your nightmares anxieties manifesting in your subconscious? Learning to manage your anxiety can help you sleep better.

Read More
PTSD in men

Combatting trauma

PTSD is a condition where you can’t escape the impacts of a traumatic incident that occurred in the past. Treatment can help you live your life to its full potential.

Read More
Personality disorder

The disorder of self identity

Personality disorders are tough but can be helped when someone’s ready to accept that the issue lies within themselves, not the world around them.

Read More

Learn practical tools to improve your wellbeing and get more out of life.

Request a Callback

Feeling something you're not sure of?

Feelings and emotions are complicated. Let us help you untangle them so you can feel better.