Learn to Love Again

Being unfaithful to your partner is more than breaking a promise about sexual exclusivity. It’s about breaking trust. Investigating the reasons behind you or your partner’s infidelity can help you heal and rebuild your relationship.

Dealing with Infidelity/cheating

We did not evolve from monogamy. Sex between Stone Age partners was common as women bartered for favours and men reproduced with multiple partners to spread their genes. It wasn’t until the 19th century that love became the primary reason for marriage and partnerships became a lifetime commitment.

But blaming infidelity/cheating on human history or making excuses isn’t okay if we’re in a relationship where monogamy is expected. Today, sex in a partnership is a symbol of love and commitment. To be cheated on by your partner can feel like a devastating deception, while cheating on your partner will lead to their contempt if they find out (and could be a huge burden of guilt if they don’t). In either case, getting over infidelity/cheating is a challenge and, for some, near impossible.

The wrong way to handle it is to suppress your emotions and continue to cheat, or to blow up at your cheating partner. The right way to handle infidelity/cheating is to engage professional help and work through your feelings of guilt or betrayal and define what type of relationship you want with your partner.

The Stress of Infidelity

Whether you’re the cheater or cheated, infidelity is stressful. Regardless of whether you’re lying to your spouse or you’re dealing with betrayal, the stress you’re feeling can cause anxiety, depression, or grief, which in turn can negatively impact your physical and mental wellbeing in a number of ways:

01 Physical

  • Tired but can’t sleep
  • Recurring headaches
  • Neck and lower back pain
  • Chest pains
  • Sexual dysfunction
  • Skin rashes and hives

02 Behavioural & Emotional

  • Depression
  • Anxiety
  • Substance abuse
  • Violence
  • Homicidal thoughts
  • Lack of impulse control

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Surviving Infidelity

To help you make sense of infidelity, we’ll first look at its root cause, whether it’s an individual risk factor like hormones, sex addiction, substance abuse, or lack of behavioural control; a relationship issue such as emotional disconnection or unfulfilling sex life; or a situational reason like a job where a person spends a lot of one-on-one time with a co-worker. We’ll then use counselling and coaching to create a plan of action that addresses your issues with infidelity.

90 %

90 percent of Americans believe that infidelity is unacceptable.

- Psychology Today

20 to 40 %

20 to 40 percent of heterosexual married men will have an extramarital affair during their lifetime.

- Ideas.Ted.Com

56 %

56 percent of men engaged in adultery said their marriage was “happy” or “very happy.”

- Ideas.Ted.Com

60 %

60 percent of men have admitted to “mate poaching” where they tried to lure a person away from a committed relationship to be with them instead.

- Ideas.Ted.Com

Honest Talk

It’s a refreshing way of looking at myself. I’ve tried counselling before, but this is more honest. More objective. More real.

Kevin, 36

Personal Development.

I did many coaching sessions with the Manifest team. I found my overall experience to be extremely helpful. Highly recommend this to anybody that is looking to develop themselves.

Lewis

Practical Approach.

Less “Lay back in this chair and talk for 12 months” and more “let’s talk about about you.” and then setting a game plan to work towards feeling better.

Tim

Learn practical tools to improve your wellbeing and get more out of life.

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